The Bitter Sadness of Joy
by Aust Sakura Kyzor
Summary: When you must choose between what is right and what is easy, your choice will always seem selfish in the end. End-scene fic. Sakura.


**The Bitter Sadness of Joy**

"_The needs of the many outweigh the means of the few"  
"I have been, and shall always be your friend." – Spock  
_

* * *

For the first moment since her life began in that field, Sakura couldn't press forward. She only had to swing her blade once and it would all be over. Grima would perish, and while she would die as well, she would die knowing that the world would be safe from his threat forever. This was the _easy_ decision. It was the _right_ decision.

So why couldn't she do it? Why was she so afraid? She had faced certain death countless times before, and she still moved forward. She faced her own illusion and she still moved forward. Yet here, she couldn't move forward.

Time seemed to have stopped moving when she made to strike the final blow. She had forcefully pushed Chrom to the side, and sent a blast of wind at her children to prevent them from interfering. But as she moved to plunge her blade into Grima's heart, she froze. She couldn't move. She was afraid, so afraid to die that she couldn't follow through.

That single moment of hesitation was all it took for Sakura to lose all of her nerve. She never noticed that she had dropped her sword. She barely registered when Tiki swooped in and picked her up out of harm's way. She stared, almost thoughtless as Chrom dashed forward, and plunged Falchion into the heart of Grima, ending the battle once and for all.

It suddenly hit her all at once. Grima still lived on. He would slumber for countless centuries until another would awaken him, but he still lived. She had failed.

Safe on the ground, Chrom smiled at his wife, friend, and tactician. "We did it, Sakura! We've won!"

Those words, though joyous, pierced her heart, and she fell to her knees, her face and robe soaked from her bitter tears. She knew the moment was a happy one, but she couldn't help be feel like a failure. How many in the future would die because of her hesitation? She trembled at the thought.

Sensing her sadness, Tiki knelt beside her and gently wrapped her arms around the tactician. For the longest moment she didn't say anything while Sakura cried until tears would no longer fall. Chrom knew that for the moment he could only wait. No words from him would help right now. So instead he addressed his Shepherds. His unlikely fellowship he united against the Fell Dragon. Sakura sat and listened to the cheers from her friends, family, and comrades. Even those she once considered a foe stood in joyous celebration.

A sigh escaped her lips, and she felt another presence beside her. She looked to find Lucina had joined her.

"Please don't cry, mother. I cannot imagine a future with you. Not anymore."

"Lucina…" Sakura's response was cut off by a sudden Morgan's head-shaped weight in her lap, "ooph! Morgan, we HAD this conversation."

"Did we?" Morgan held a mischievous smile, "must have forgotten. You were too busy being sad and sacrifice-y to keep up with my remember stuff training."

Sakura couldn't help but snort at her son's antics. Above her, Chrom cleared his throat lightly, catching her attention.

"Still feeling guilty, Sakura? You can't hide it from me, my love. I _know_ you're still wondering if you should have sacrificed yourself."

"Well how could I not? My death would have saved this world forever and yet…"

"And yet you found yourself torn between what was right and what was easy." Chrom sighed lightly, "I won't lie: your death might have spared this world future grief. Perhaps… but at what cost? The only certainty is that this world would've been robbed of someone special."

"Chrom… I'm just one woman."

"Sakura, you are not _JUST_ one woman. You are my queen, my life, my reason to be, and my excuse whenever something breaks and it wasn't my fault." Sakura snorted again, "Sakura, you're everything to me, and that doesn't even do justice to the other good you've done and will continue to do. You made the right choice, Sakura. Everyone agrees."

Tiki's grip on Sakura tightened slightly, and Lucina added her on arms. "You need to live mother. For me, for Morgan, for Father, Tiki, and for all those who love you."

From Sakura's lap Morgan piped in. "Yeah! We'll find a way to make things right! It might seem crazy, but look at everything we've already accomplished!"

"Sakura, you are _not_ Grima," Tiki added, "you are the kindest, gentlest, and most loving woman I've ever met, cheeky antics aside. Your sacrifice may have saved us, but it would have broken our hearts."

Sakura smiled at her family lovingly. All doubt she had left had gone.

"Don't you see?" Chrom asked, "You belong with us. We want you here to share our present, and our future. So what if Grima comes back? The Fire Emblem has been restored, and this time our descendants will make sure it STAYS that way."

Sakura felt the love from her family, and soon a large smile grew upon her, followed closely by laughter. A deep, happy, and genuine laugh and one that Chrom had not heard since the day Lucina was born. He missed that laugh, and he was sure he would hear it often now that the fighting was over.

"Let's go home," she said as her children helped her up. There was a sudden youthful energy in her future daughter that she never saw before. Was her sudden freedom from fate that much of lifted burden? Sakura didn't know, and frankly didn't care anymore. Her daughter was happy, and so was she.

The warmth she was so well known for had returned to her heart. Her lingering guilt was gone, and joy had filled the void it left behind. When Sakura climbed Origin Peak to face Grima, she was determined to die to save the world. Now Sakura descended the same peak, happy for that one moment of greedy hesitation.

Later Sakura had relaxed in her favourite chair in the Yllisian palace. She sighed contentedly as she practically flung her logbook to a nearby table. Work could wait, this nap could not. As she settled in, she felt a sudden, sharp but faint pressure briefly within her abdomen. Startled, she held her hands to where she felt it. A second instance of the pressure and she let out a short chuckle.

"Guess I was right… Good thing I hesitated then, isn't it?" She reclined further, a hand gently placed on her stomach. "Though I hope Morgan will forgive me if I name you Mark instead…"

"_The needs of the one outweigh the means of the many" – James T. Kirk_

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**AN: Bet you weren't expecting yet **_**another**_** one-shot from me, and certainly not so soon either.**

**I actually started writing this a long time ago, but sat on it until I actually finished my Sakura run. Technically I still haven't, but the story is finished. All I have left is various DLC chapters (which I consider to have happened post-game in Sakura's universe), and preparation for my StreetPass time for Anime North.**

**I actually debated for **_**months**_** on whether or not Sakura would sacrifice herself in the end, and because I always have a little bit of myself in all of my characters, the tears she cried over the decision were tears I cried myself over it.**

**I'm actually super-proud and protective of Sakura. Ky may be my personal avatar, but of the three of them, Sakura is the one most similar to me. My ultimate decision was the result of a sudden, intense Persona binge. I've been playing 4 a lot, and I've been exposing myself to all the not-extreme-sad parts of P3 (so, like, 1% of it). In both I seem to have fallen in love with Yukari and Rise, each game's social link representing the Lovers arcana (which happens to also be my own). The Lovers is less about the obvious interpretation, and more of a major life-changing crossroads, where one must choose between what is right and what is easy (sound familiar in the context of Awakening?). With that new context in my mind, Sakura's character practically exploded she grew so fast.**

**Ultimately, Sakura chose to follow her heart, and her heart chose life. Was it the right decision? Or was it the easy decision? That's just it; it's both. That is the essence of the Lovers. The choice would always be the right decision, so it all boils down to how you interpret which is easier.**

**At least that's what I think. I've rambled too long.**

**Aust AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!**


End file.
